A fan of my program on YouTube sent me a very important question. He wrote the following:
‘’I have a lot of goals and things that I want to achieve. But sometimes I get demotivated or overwhelmed and say that this is too much, and sometimes I say to myself that I have the capability to do and achieve what I want, but I just need to act and execute.
I always dream of being perfect, and I want to do and achieve everything fast especially that my age now is over 30 and I feel that I am already late. This feeling sometimes makes me slow down or even freeze, and then suddenly I wake up and look at myself again to discover that days and even years passed by and I am still in the same place, and nothing changed. What do you advise me to do?’’
Let me simplify this question and divide it into sub-categories:
- He has a lot of goals, but he is not able to pursue them all at the same time.
- He feels overwhelmed.
- When he does not achieve or when he does not act, he feels demotivated because he feels that he is late because his age is over 30.
And here is my advice: before thinking about your goals and what you want to achieve, there are some questions that you should ask yourself. These questions are:
- What is my type? Am I able to focus and work on achieving multiple things at the same time? Or I prefer to learn, do, or achieve one thing at a time? I worked with a lot of people around the world, and each one of them was having his or her personality type, style, and way of learning, capacity and time. You have first to discover your type.
- How much time do I have? One of the big mistakes that people do is to set a lot of goals and targets for themselves without considering if they have enough time to pursue and do all of this or not. So, they end up demotivated because they were not able to achieve what they wanted or planned to achieve. So, ask yourself before you start ‘’are the things that I want to learn, do or achieve unrelated to my current work or can they be done during my official working time? And if they are unrelated or must be done outside of my official working hours, then how many hours on average per day do I have for me as free time to do what I want?’’ And be honest with yourself.
- What is the one thing that I need to do or learn now? We all need to learn and do a lot of things. And these things may seem important. But if you focused a little, I am sure you can define one thing that you should do NOW because it is important and impacts your future. Define this one thing.
- Based on my answers to the previous three questions, is what I want to do achievable? If your answer is yes, good. If no, then ask yourself ‘’can I eliminate some things from my daily schedule to free up more time to achieve my goals?’’. And if the answer is still No then ask yourself ‘’can I break down this goal into smaller goals? Or worst-case scenario, can I replace this goal or thing that I need to do with something else which can fit into my schedule?’’. Remember, the target is not to write a long list of goals or things to do. The target is to find out if you have enough time to do this or not.
By asking yourself these questions, you protect yourself and your brain from being overwhelmed by a lot of goals or tasks to do. When the brain feels overwhelmed, it freezes and takes you in the direction of not doing anything at all, or it reduces your efficiency.
One important thing to understand is that people get demotivated when they feel it’s too late because they compare themselves to others. For example, if you have a friend who is in the same age as you, and this friend became a Manager and maybe you are just starting your career, you can get demotivated. But what you need to keep in mind is that each person is having different circumstances, problems, and struggles. And the fact that this person (that you are comparing yourself to) is now in a better position than you does not mean that he will end up better than you. It does not matter where you start, but what matters is where you will end. And to grow in life, you need to focus on yourself and on getting the best out of each day without comparing yourself to others.
Try these questions next time you are setting your goals and let me know your opinion in the comments below.