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‘’Unfortunately, it’s too late as I am too old to take this action already’’….This sentence is one of the most important dream killers that I ever witnessed in my life.
You sit beside someone and then you ask this person ‘’What was the thing that you always dreamed of or wanted to achieve in your life?’’, and then their eyes shine and they start smiling while explaining their dream that they were not able to achieve so far.
‘’I wanted to start my business.’’, ‘’I wanted to start an NGO.’’, ‘’I wanted to do an MBA or a Ph.D. or to continue my education and earn a bachelor’s degree.’’, ‘’I wanted to change my job and work as a Music teacher, sports trainer, actor, even though I am an Engineer.’’.....And these are just a few examples.
And then suddenly, the brightness in their eyes fade away and they end their sentence by saying ‘’I wish I could have achieved this dream, but unfortunately, I am too old for this now. I am in the ’40s’’
So, if you are one of the people who have a specific dream and want to pursue something, but you are always saying this sentence to yourself, then this article will be very interesting for you.
Whenever I hear someone telling me that it is already late for him to pursue a dream or a goal which is worth pursuing, I always look at this person and ask one question: ‘’too late compared to what exactly?’’
When you are waiting for a train and you know that it is supposed to arrive at 5:00 and it is now 6:00, then it’s too late.
When you give an appointment to a friend at 12:00 and this friend comes at 1:00, then it is too late.
But when we are speaking about your life which by the way is undetermined as you will never know how long you will live and what you will achieve, and when we are speaking about your wishes and hopes and dreams that you wanted to fulfill, it’s so weird that some people believe it is already late for them.
So, here is a direct question from me to you ‘’Imagine that you started working on your dream at the age of 40 and you died at the age of 80. Aren’t 40 years living your dream enough time?
Or if you died at the ’70s, aren’t 30 years enough?
Or imagine that you are an employee and you made a career shift at the age of 50 and you worked until the official retirement age of your country which we will assume is 68. Aren’t 18 years enough?
But here are the main 2 reasons why people truly have the illusion that it is too late:
1- Your expectations about what you should do or achieve and when, which are by the way conditioned by society.
''You must have a family and kids by a certain age or else it's late.''
''You must have a job at this age.''
''You can only pursue a degree until the beginning of the ’40s and this is only allowed if the degree is a Ph.D., but if it is continuing education or a bachelor’s degree, then you are already very late.''
''You must stop working and retire by the age of 65 or 68.''
Who set these rules and why should you follow them?
Having a law stating the retirement age does not mean that you must stop working at this age. And feeling the social pressure from the society and the people around you to do a specific action, does not mean that it is the right action or that the others are correct no matter how many people are taking or took this action.
2- Comparing yourself to other friends and former university colleagues (which is by the way on fire currently thanks to the social media).
In the past and before the social media era, it was very hard to keep in touch with more than 3, 4 or even 5 of your friends. And even though you were in touch with them, it was always hard for you to keep up to date with all that is happening in their lives.
Now, you are connected to 500 or 1000 people online and each one of them is posting the best part of his life currently and every few seconds you see an update.
Our brains can not survive without making comparisons. We compare houses to houses, cities to cities, people to people and ourselves with others.
So, guess what you will feel if you see your friend working in a managerial position and you are not at the age of 28? Or if your friend owns a house and you are not at the age of 40? Or any other example that you may want.
You will feel that you should have this thing and that now is the right time for it. Which is never the case of course.
Each one of us has his own life story, struggles, and life journey. And we are different, and we have different circumstances.
There is a person who can go to school and then university straight after each other and start his career very early, and there is another person who may pass through some struggles in life like losing a parent, or raised not having enough money so he had to work to support his family and brothers and sisters and hence he got delayed and started his professional career late. He may even start his career while the other is already a manager for example.
So, here is my main message to you: Life does not owe you anything and no one does. And there is no obligation or promise from someone or from life to you that you will receive a specific goal by a certain age.
These are all illusions created by the society. And as a rule, never ever trust the wisdom of the society that you are living within because if you get yourself outside of the story and focused on what is going around you a little bit, you will see the people committing crazy actions and not as wise to set the right standards as you think.
So, all that you need to focus on is this: If you have a goal or a dream that is worth being pursued, then start now without setting expectations or comparisons.
And remember, time will pass anyway no matter if you spent it pursuing this dream or not, and also money will be spent anyway no matter if you dedicate it to supporting you in pursuing this goal or not.
So, go out, be unique and do something that really matters. Something that has an impact on your life as well as the others around you.
It is your life journey, so make it a unique and meaningful journey. Because in the end, you are the one who will live with the consequences of your decisions and not the others.
If you agree with what I said so far and it ignited something in you, then write to me in the comments below the word ‘’ignited’’ and go and act on your dream.
Till next article.